The First Step Back

People always say that going back to church after a long period is easy. Take it from a person who returned after being gone for almost two years. That first time back was the hardest thing I have ever had to do.

Let me start from the beginning. I was born and raised in the church, by parents that were very dedicated to the church. When I was fifteen my parents moved California. Shortly there after I started questioning if the church was really true or not. As the years passed the question continued to nag at me and the need to know became stronger. When I was eighteen and fresh out of high school, I decided to start going to our local single young adult ward. I was an outsider and was treated that way. Then I started a job, where me boss was the wife of the local Pentecostal pastor's wife. Their daughter also worked there and with a little pushing convinced me that I was in the wrong church and that I needed to become Pentecostal. So I left the LDS church and was baptised into the Pentecostal church.

I stayed in the Pentecostal church for 21 months. All along having the feeling that I didn't belong there. By the time I had been in the church for nine months I knew I needed out, but there never seemed to be a way out. I tried many times to leave, only to be pulled back and treated worse by the pastor and his family.

Then one Sunday last September my brother and I were talking and he asked me if I would go to church with him. The thought of going back to the the LDS church was scary. I was unsure of what people would think. What would the people say when I walked in, they all knew I had left to go to another church. I was terrified, but at the same time i knew I needed to do it.

So that morning I left and took that first step back. Instead of people shunning me and ridiculing me for leaving. I walked into the open arms of people that were happy to see me come back. I took me a long time to build my testimony of the truthfulness of the church. The entire time I was determined to do it myself. I had lived too long leaning on my parents testimony, I needed my own.

In four weeks it will have been one year since I came back. I can't say there were not times that I thought about leaving again, but with each of those times I prayed and was assured that I had made the right decision. I now have the stongest testimony of the truthfulness of the church. I know that this church is true. In fact I am going to get the chance to say just how true the church is in a few months. The end of this month I will be submitting my mission papers. I am going to go and serve the Lord for eighteen months of my life and I know I can make a difference.

Anyone out there that thinks that they can't take that first step back. Maybe because of fears of worries. I can tell you that it may seem hard, but it is well worth it in the end. Be prepared for a few battles, there will always be battles. Otherwise Satan would get bored. But you can do it, and the day when you are able to stand and bear your testimony and know what you are saying is true, will be the best day of your life.

-Laura - cjwarner@ix.netcom.com